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Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired

Explaining that her statements indicated a failure to understand and implement the district’s goal of providing a comprehensive education to all children, Southwest High School officials reportedly fired ninth-grade history teacher Jennifer Steenman today after she was heard saying she learns more from her students than they do from her. Full article.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Mom Produces Decorative Gift Bag Out Of Thin Air

LEXINGTON, MA—Conjuring the item into existence along with several sheets of perfectly coordinated tissue paper, local mother Caroline Wolfson, 49, reportedly produced a decorative gift bag out of thin air Tuesday within a mere fraction of a second of her daughter mentioning she needed to wrap a present.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.
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Couple In Fed Standoff

Claiming that there is no law requiring them to pay taxes, well-armed New Hampshire couple Ed and Elaine Brown have vowed to die rather than surrender to a prison term. What do you think?
  • "Wow. I wish I felt that strongly. About anything."

    Penny Insbrook Systems Analyst
  • "Taxed labor is just a form of slavery where you work whenever you want at whatever you want to do."

    Rod Warren Drill Press Operator
  • "This standoff would all be worth it if, when Ed Brown was asked for his 1099, he replied 'Here's my 1099,' and then drew a gun."

    Matt McKee Llama Farmer

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