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Overeager Simpleton Destroys That Which He Loves Most

WICHITA, KS—Agonizingly unaware of his own strength and the devastation it might inflict on the innocent, overeager simpleton Rob McCormick tore apart a bag of potato chips Thursday, despite the fact that it was reportedly what he loved most in all the world.

Raccoon Family Tired Of Taking Care Of Rabid Father

MONTGOMERY, WV—Acknowledging that he has become a real burden on their foraging and nesting activities, a local raccoon family told reporters Tuesday that they are starting to get tired of taking care of their rabid father.
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Couple In Fed Standoff

Claiming that there is no law requiring them to pay taxes, well-armed New Hampshire couple Ed and Elaine Brown have vowed to die rather than surrender to a prison term. What do you think?
  • "Wow. I wish I felt that strongly. About anything."

    Penny Insbrook Systems Analyst
  • "Taxed labor is just a form of slavery where you work whenever you want at whatever you want to do."

    Rod Warren Drill Press Operator
  • "This standoff would all be worth it if, when Ed Brown was asked for his 1099, he replied 'Here's my 1099,' and then drew a gun."

    Matt McKee Llama Farmer

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