Couples Battling For Trendy 12/13/14 Wedding Date

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Vol 50 Issue 29

Grandpa Looking Absolutely Precious In New Baseball Cap

A new report finds climate change skeptics could reach catastrophic levels by 2020, the nation’s gratuitously sexual couples announce plans to wait in line at Six Flags, and a local grandpa looks absolutely precious in his new baseball cap.

Tips For Choosing A Good Babysitter

More mothers and fathers today are working full-time while raising kids, which means parents are increasingly turning to babysitters and nannies to care for their children at home.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Couples Battling For Trendy 12/13/14 Wedding Date

In the latest instance of couples clamoring for a trendy wedding date, a new poll by David’s Bridal has revealed that more than 20,000 couples are competing to get married on 12/13/14, leading many venues to raise prices due to demand. What do you think?

  • “It may be a lot more work, but getting married on a sequential date is the kind of thing you’ll talk about for the rest of your lives.”

    Samantha Bartlett
    Yard Sale Consultant
  • “My friends are going to be so jealous until they think about it a little longer.”

    Kayla Gondry
    Urban Farmer
  • “You can’t put a price on novelty.”

    Michael Stamper
    Tech Desk Manager
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