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Man Doesn't Even Do Good Job At Sleeping

Along with his consistently poor performance at work and his general lack of common, everyday life skills, local man Corey White told reporters Thursday that he can't even do a good job at sleeping.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Couric Leaving CBS News

Katie Couric told People magazine that, after five years as anchor of CBS Evening News, she was leaving the position. What do you think?

  • "I know I should be celebrating, but there are still so many women left on TV."

    Andrea Leeds Laboratory Supervisor
  • "Yeah, the evening crowd just never took to her, probably because of that nightly sign-on phrase, 'Smile wide, America, it's news time!'"

    Diego Garcia Jig-Builder
  • "I'm not surprised. She’s seemed pretty bored during the past year or so. Or maybe I was bored. Ever since I got to fly a helicopter for my 40th birthday nothing is exciting anymore."

    Drew Blistan Hand Stamper

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