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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Couric Leaving CBS News

Katie Couric told People magazine that, after five years as anchor of CBS Evening News, she was leaving the position. What do you think?

  • "I know I should be celebrating, but there are still so many women left on TV."

    Andrea Leeds Laboratory Supervisor
  • "Yeah, the evening crowd just never took to her, probably because of that nightly sign-on phrase, 'Smile wide, America, it's news time!'"

    Diego Garcia Jig-Builder
  • "I'm not surprised. She’s seemed pretty bored during the past year or so. Or maybe I was bored. Ever since I got to fly a helicopter for my 40th birthday nothing is exciting anymore."

    Drew Blistan Hand Stamper

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