adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Couric Leaving Today

Katie Couric is leaving the Today Show to host CBS Evening News. What do you think?
  • "Only Katie can get Bill Frist to divulge that confidential pasta-salad recipe."

    Sam Farber DMV Teller
  • "I'm sorry, but she doesn't have the same air of credibility as a Murrow, a Rather, or a Shalit."

    Mary Swadirski Bricklayer
  • "Until this news, I was a big morning-TV viewer, but now I'll need something else to keep me occupied, like a job."

    John Galvin Dental Hygienist
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close