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Couric's Ratings Woes

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Couric's Ratings Woes

Eight months after Katie Couric took over as anchor, The CBS Evening News is a distant third in the nightly news ratings, and last week recorded its lowest audience in 20 years. What do you think?
  • "This is why you should never hire a woman, or anyone even remotely sane, to do Dan Rather's job."

    Emil Brun Day Laborer
  • "How can she compete against cable news? They get to use the C-word."

    Mila Kreszpy Recordkeeper
  • "I warned her. I said 'It's not like Today, Katie. You've got to know how to read,' but she wouldn't listen."

    Matt Gander Systems Analyst

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