adBlockCheck

Couric's Ratings Woes

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Couric's Ratings Woes

Eight months after Katie Couric took over as anchor, The CBS Evening News is a distant third in the nightly news ratings, and last week recorded its lowest audience in 20 years. What do you think?
  • "This is why you should never hire a woman, or anyone even remotely sane, to do Dan Rather's job."

    Emil Brun Day Laborer
  • "How can she compete against cable news? They get to use the C-word."

    Mila Kreszpy Recordkeeper
  • "I warned her. I said 'It's not like Today, Katie. You've got to know how to read,' but she wouldn't listen."

    Matt Gander Systems Analyst

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close