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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Court Awards $8K To Man Stuck On Disneyland Ride

A court awarded a paralyzed man $8,000 for the inconvenience he suffered while trapped for over 30 minutes on the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disneyland in 2009, during which time he was forced to listen to the ride’s iconic theme song on repeat. What do you think?

  • “This story reminds me of when I went to Disney World and had a really great time.”

    Barbara Anne Burke Sausage Linker
  • “That song may be annoying, but it has a good message. Mainly about how small the world is after all.”

    Mitch Redbourn Moisture Tester
  • “I’m surprised Disney’s ass wasn’t covered by the ‘God abandons all ye who enter here’ sign they post out front of that ride.”

    Yancy Crutcher Appliance Installer
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