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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Court Overturns Oklahoma Sharia Law Ban

The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled it was discriminatory for Oklahoma to single out Sharia in its ban of religious law and stated there was no evidence the Islamic legal code had influenced the U.S. justice system. What do you think?

  • “What do you mean the judges found it discriminatory? Wasn’t that the whole point?”

    Marie Babcock Systems Analyst
  • "This is ridiculous. How am I going to refight this battle when I’ve already moved on to a saggy-pants ban?"

    Dan Brooks Rod Tape Operator
  • “Okay, fine, the Muslims win. What’s that dude’s name we gotta worship now?"

    Charles Martin Unemployed

More from this section

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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