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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Court Upbraids Texas Over Polygamists

A Texas appeals court ruled that the state had no business taking more than 400 children from a polygamist compound outside of San Angelo. What do you think?
  • "It's just nobody's business what polygamists do behind closed compound walls."

    Chuck Gilberto Systems Analyst
  • "That's too bad. The children who'd been removed from the compound were just getting used to iPods and the Internet and not getting raped."

    Astrid Patch Grocer
  • "The same thing happened to me but with fireworks. Can I get those back, too?"

    Karl Hayes Satellite TV Installer
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