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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Creation Museum Grand Opening

The Creation Museum, which holds that the Bible is the supreme authority, opened last week in Kentucky. What do you think?
  • "It's going to face some tough competition when the nearby Flat Earth and Gravity Schmavity Museums opens up."

    Allen Hand Systems Analyst
  • "As someone who only likes exhibits that agree with me, it's nice to have an option besides the Coca-Cola Museum."

    LJ Ruch Photo Developer
  • "Opening? Heresy! The Creation Museum has existed since the beginning of time!"

    Apryl Lindhurst Bus Driver
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