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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Creationists Stall South Carolina ‘State Fossil’ Bill

Following the passage of a bill by South Carolina House legislators designating the Columbian Mammoth as the state’s official fossil, two senators decided to amend the bill by adding verses from the Book of Genesis declaring God the creator of all animals. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, it’s about time God got his due.”

    Aaron Merkle Estate Steward
  • “It’s important to get this bill right. I mean, this is the state fossil we’re talking about here.”

    Graham Wallace Private Investigator
  • “See, this is why we can’t have fossils.”

    Candace Bergeron Towel Rack Assembler
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