Creationists Stall South Carolina ‘State Fossil’ Bill

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Vol 50 Issue 13

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OAKLAND, CA—Upon realizing that opponents always seem to have better facilities, equipment, and players, team sources confirmed Friday that Oakland A’s outfielder Coco Crisp approached manager Bob Melvin and quietly asked whether their team wa...

Date Invites Woman Upstairs To Check Out Red Flags

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Creationists Stall South Carolina ‘State Fossil’ Bill

Following the passage of a bill by South Carolina House legislators designating the Columbian Mammoth as the state’s official fossil, two senators decided to amend the bill by adding verses from the Book of Genesis declaring God the creator of all animals. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, it’s about time God got his due.”

    Aaron Merkle
    Estate Steward
  • “It’s important to get this bill right. I mean, this is the state fossil we’re talking about here.”

    Graham Wallace
    Private Investigator
  • “See, this is why we can’t have fossils.”

    Candace Bergeron
    Towel Rack Assembler
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