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Crisis Provokes Anger At God

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
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Crisis Provokes Anger At God

According to a study published in the Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology, two out of three people become angry with God following traumatic events, such as a cancer diagnosis. What do you think?

  • "That's just silly. God only has control over things like helping you find a great parking spot or allowing you to get home in time to watch Cake Boss."

    Lindsey Rafferty
    Carpet Salesperson
  • "That's got to be really frustrating for the Devil."

    Dan Egan
    Systems Analyst
  • "If this study doesn't convince God to stop doing terrible things, I don't know what will."

    Stealer
    Unemployed

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