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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Critics: NBC's 'Playboy Club' Glamorizes Pornography

Watchdog group the Parents Television Council has accused NBC of glorifying pornography with its new program The Playboy Club, which debuts in September. What do you think?

  • "'Pornography'? Playboy didn't even show labia until 2003."

    Kaye Valentin Systems Analyst
  • “Every time I watch a rerun of Cheers, I wonder if NBC can even remember how to glamorize something wholesome, like alcoholism.”

    Danny Marschack Exhibit Designer
  • "They made my dad's idea for a TV show into a TV show? What fun!"

    Alan Dimpsey Unemployed

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