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Crumbs Cupcake Shops Out Of Business

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Crumbs Cupcake Shops Out Of Business

Crumbs Bake Shop, best known for its cupcakes, announced Monday that it would be closing all locations by the end of the day, a move that stunned employees and suggested the cupcake craze of recent years might be over. What do you think?

  • “I hate when my favorite economically unsustainable businesses have to close.”

    Alissa Rhodes College Admissions Autocrat
  • “If they were having trouble, they should have asked everyone to buy more cupcakes.”

    Glenn Willis Cheese Manipulator
  • “Now what the hell am I going to do when I’m in New York?”

    Lucy Hamlin Unemployed

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