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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Crumbs Cupcake Shops Out Of Business

Crumbs Bake Shop, best known for its cupcakes, announced Monday that it would be closing all locations by the end of the day, a move that stunned employees and suggested the cupcake craze of recent years might be over. What do you think?

  • “I hate when my favorite economically unsustainable businesses have to close.”

    Alissa Rhodes College Admissions Autocrat
  • “If they were having trouble, they should have asked everyone to buy more cupcakes.”

    Glenn Willis Cheese Manipulator
  • “Now what the hell am I going to do when I’m in New York?”

    Lucy Hamlin Unemployed
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