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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Crystal's Return To Oscars

Billy Crystal’s return to hosting duties at the Academy Awards on Sunday night received mixed reviews. What do you think?

  • "I really wanted to see him, but it took forever waiting for that kindly old gent to get off the stage so Crystal could start."

    David Vogel Feed Blender
  • "If that was Billy Crystal, who's Penelope Cruz?"

    Rosanna Hansen Systems Analyst
  • "Oh, no! I missed it! Did anyone happen to tape it on their VCR?"

    Stephen Soares Retired

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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