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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Cuban Leadership Passed To Castro's Brother

Cuban leader Fidel Castro, 80, will for the first time temporarily hand over power to his brother, Raul, while he recovers from gastrointestinal surgery. What do you think?
  • "I'm used to the human rights violations, but I had hoped Castro was above nepotism."

    Leah Davis Telemarketer
  • "Funny how this 'surgery' happens to coincide with the finals of America's Got Talent. I'm just saying, keep an eye out for a 6'4" bearded man whose talent is smoking 8 cigars at the same time."

    Matt Ruben Image Consultant
  • "So I swam all the way over to America to avoid persecution just for the guy to die 16 years later? Nuts!"

    Julio Cruz Systems Analyst
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