Cut Cables Slow Indian Internet

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.


Cut Cables Slow Indian Internet

The accidental severing of three undersea cables has led to a massive Internet slowdown in India. What do you think?
  • "Did they try restarting?"

    Barry Last
  • "So, theoretically speaking, if I wanted to blog something racist about Indians now would be the best time?"

    Lauren Plouff
    Sandwich Maker
  • "Wait–the Internet is underwater? Now it's starting to make sense."

    James Gray
    Camera Salesperson