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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Cutting Oil Imports By One Third

Faced with mounting criticism over rising fuel prices, President Obama is calling for more biofuels and domestic drilling, and for reducing consumption of foreign oil by one third over the next decade. What do you think?

  • "At last, a specific fraction that I can relate to."

    Tina Erickson Systems Analyst
  • "They should just put a 'Made in America' sticker on barrels of domestic oil, so I know which ones to buy when I'm out shopping for the family."

    Dave Moodrian Yield-Loss Inspector
  • "Whatever happened to all that oil we were supposed to get from Iraq? Blood for oil, that was the deal, right?"

    Carl Sanders Filter Washer

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