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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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CVS, 7-Eleven Ban ‘Rolling Stone’ Issue Featuring Tsarnaev

Numerous retailers, including CVS, Walgreens, and 7-Eleven, said they will not sell the new issue of Rolling Stone featuring a tousle-haired Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on its cover, which many have protested for treating the Boston Marathon bombing suspect like a celebrity. What do you think?

  • “Finally, the nation’s moral arbiters take a decisive stance.”

    Beverly Hoover Bear Keeper
  • “I’ve been done with them ever since they put Phish on the cover.”

    Aaron Woolway Light Bulb Tester
  • “He has kind eyes.”

    Jack Nicastro Unemployed

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