adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Cyber Monday Sales Projected To Top Records

Online analysts have projected that Cyber Monday sales will reach $2.27 billion this year, making it the highest online shopping day in the nation’s history. What do you think?

  • “Wow, that’s awesome! A big congrats to all the corporations out there.”

    Corey Cummings Systems Analyst
  • “What exact time will that begin? I’m looking for ways to move with the herd.”

    Joy Reardon Estate Groundskeeper
  • “Having a computer is finally paying off!”

    Aaron Schuyler Stockbroker
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close