Dancers Arrested At Jefferson Memorial

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 22

Point Of Story Apparently That Man Ate At Restaurant

ELYSBURG, PA—Friends of 33-year-old Dan Leski were subjected Tuesday to a detailed account of his recent visit to a restaurant, the sole point of which was apparently to communicate the fact that Leski had eaten food and then paid for it.

Educated Bigot That Much More Terrifying

FAYETTEVILLE, AR—After arguing with a well-read, articulate racist Wednesday, area man Daniel Truett described the experience as "bone-chilling," telling reporters it was far scarier than any encounter with an ignorant bigot ever could hav...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Dancers Arrested At Jefferson Memorial

U.S. Park Police arrested five people for "expressive dancing" in the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. What do you think?

  • "Maybe next they can stop people from crying in front of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. It's annoying."

    Lucy Reid
    Knife Changer
  • "That's ridiculous! Wait, was that at Jefferson Memorial the memorial or Jefferson Memorial the club?"

    George Colbert
    Unit Clerk
  • "As the videotape showed, it was a complete overreaction to a harmless, peaceful demonstration, and I, for one, have never laughed harder."

    Lee King
    Hand Mounter
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More