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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Danish Cartoons Offend European Muslims

A series of recent political cartoons, published initially in Denmark and reprinted by seven other European newspapers, has offended Muslims with its depictions of Muhammad, including one with a bomb for a turban. What do you think?
  • "I don't get it. Is it funny because all Arab people smell bad?"

    Wayne Montana Food Wholesaler
  • "I guess the blasphemous "Marmaduke" comic where the irascible Great Dane refuses to get off Jesus' couch taught the world nothing."

    Tammy Mulvenna Mail Sorter
  • "Boy, Europe is really ahead of us. I still have to go into the bathroom of an Arby's here in order to see something that's offensive to Muslims."

    Damon Locks Systems Analyst

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