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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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D.C. Tops In AIDS

The District of Columbia has the highest AIDS rates in the country. What do you think?
  • "At least it'll expedite the time they have to live in abject poverty."

    Susan Olivera Systems Analyst
  • "A high rate is good isn't it? Or am I confusing AIDS with Annual Percentage Yields?"

    Walter Poloni Bookbinder
  • "As a homophobic political humorist, I'd say this qualifies as manna from heaven."

    Richard Turk Humorist

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