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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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DEA Forgets Man In Cell For 4 Days

The Drug Enforcement Agency apologized to 23-year-old Daniel Chong for leaving him locked alone in a cell without food, water, or a toilet for four days. What do you think?

  • "It's jail. You're not supposed to get all those fancy luxuries."

    Stacey Muller Systems Analyst
  • "It’s not enough for the DEA to apologize. They also need to add the part about this being just a big misunderstanding."

    Eric Garner Key Clerk
  • “Well, that's probably less terrible than the CIA locking you up and remembering.”

    Elmer Naumann Chief Inspector

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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