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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Deadly Strain Of Bird Flu Spreading In China

A strain of avian flu known as H7N9 has infected at least 24 people and killed seven in Eastern China, prompting the government to kill tens of thousands of fowl in an effort to stem the spread. What do you think?

  • “The nice thing is that in China you can just throw dead animals in the river and not worry about it anymore.”

    Aaron Meredith Fine Sander
  • “It’s like every time things are starting to look up for me, the bird flu comes along.”

    Tom Wahlquist Crab Butcher
  • “I’m impressed China even noticed seven people were gone.”

    Linda Kolsrud Battery Tester

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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