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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Deadly Strain Of Bird Flu Spreading In China

A strain of avian flu known as H7N9 has infected at least 24 people and killed seven in Eastern China, prompting the government to kill tens of thousands of fowl in an effort to stem the spread. What do you think?

  • “The nice thing is that in China you can just throw dead animals in the river and not worry about it anymore.”

    Aaron Meredith Fine Sander
  • “It’s like every time things are starting to look up for me, the bird flu comes along.”

    Tom Wahlquist Crab Butcher
  • “I’m impressed China even noticed seven people were gone.”

    Linda Kolsrud Battery Tester
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