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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Death Penalty For Hussein?

Chief prosecutor Jaafar al-Moussawi called for the death penalty for Saddam Hussein for crimes against humanity during attacks on Shiite civilians in the 1980s. What do you think?
  • "This is unfair. The man made an honest mistake: he simply thought, when he killed all those people, that he would never have to face the consequences."

    Graham Kincaid Herbalist
  • "I'd just hate for this to be one of those cases where, years later, DNA evidence surfaces linking the mass murder to some other dictator."

    Thomas Dawes Systems Analyst
  • "All this death-penalty speculation is premature. We haven't even heard Saddam's closing arguments yet."

    Alleen Parker Carpet Installer
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