Death With Dignity Upheld

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Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
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    THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s...

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Death With Dignity Upheld

The Supreme Court upheld Oregon's Death With Dignity Act, a law that enables Oregon doctors to help terminally ill patients die. What do you think?
  • "These liberal judges are making it way too easy for people to die of an incurable disease."

    Patrick Gunn
    Cartographer
  • "Can't Congress hold an emergency session to address this?"

    Barbara O'Toole
    Antiques Dealer
  • "I'll only do it if my doctor is willing to uphold the strict terms of the murder-suicide pact."

    Jack Turner
    Systems Analyst