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Defecating Birds Stop Kings Of Leon

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Defecating Birds Stop Kings Of Leon

After being hit repeatedly by pigeon feces from the rafters of the Verizon Amphitheater in St. Louis, the band Kings of Leon stopped its concert after just three songs. What do you think?

  • "I thought they stopped because they only have three songs."

    Jill Kravinoff Maintenance Mechanic
  • "If you're thinking of buying tickets to Kings of Leon's upcoming show at Louisville's Feral Cat Arena, you might want to save your money."

    Scott Morbius Systems Analyst
  • "What the Kings of Leon didn't realize was that this was a test. And the Kings of Leon failed. And the test was sort of a weird test."

    Noah Beck Bookkeeper

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