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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Defecating Birds Stop Kings Of Leon

After being hit repeatedly by pigeon feces from the rafters of the Verizon Amphitheater in St. Louis, the band Kings of Leon stopped its concert after just three songs. What do you think?

  • "I thought they stopped because they only have three songs."

    Jill Kravinoff Maintenance Mechanic
  • "If you're thinking of buying tickets to Kings of Leon's upcoming show at Louisville's Feral Cat Arena, you might want to save your money."

    Scott Morbius Systems Analyst
  • "What the Kings of Leon didn't realize was that this was a test. And the Kings of Leon failed. And the test was sort of a weird test."

    Noah Beck Bookkeeper

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