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Defenders Of Wikileaks Cripple Credit Cards

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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Defenders Of Wikileaks Cripple Credit Cards

After MasterCard and Visa stopped letting customers use their services to send financial support to Wikileaks, hackers targeted the credit cards’ websites, making them difficult to access for most of Wednesday. What do you think?

  • "That doesn't sound so bad. I'm sure Americans just did what they do best: used the cash they had on hand for the things they really needed and waited until they’d saved up enough to purchase any luxury items."

    Kyra Walters Systems Analyst
  • "What kind of fascist corporate sheep own a MasterCard in the first place? And I'll go you one further: Fuck the capitalist-puppet Internet and its decadent bourgeois hacker-lackeys, too. There. Wriggle out of that one."

    Mike Totino Retail Clerk
  • "Actually, I think that was mostly me. I kept resubmitting my credit card info to Blinds.com over and over until I realized I put the expiration date in wrong. Sorry."

    Ed von Trapp Warp Clamper

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