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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Del Toro To Direct Disney's 'Haunted Mansion'

Guillermo del Toro, director of Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy, announced that his next project would be directing The Haunted Mansion, a film based on the Disney World ride. What do you think?

  • "This is a step up for him. The Hobbit isn't even a ride."

    Larry Bench Systems Analyst
  • "Wow, I didn't realize the list of jobs Americans won't do extended all the way into big-budget film adaptations of theme park attractions."

    Karen Marko Unemployed
  • "I wonder if Disney would be interested in my horror screenplay about a shipload of children who float into a land of diverse ethnicities, but after a short time the children realize that under their colorful costumes all the people look exactly alike and sing the same song constantly?"

    Albert Raxton Writer

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