adBlockCheck

Del Toro To Direct Disney's 'Haunted Mansion'

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Police Find Super-Sharp Buck Knife

'It's The Kind With A Blade That Locks In Place,' Says Law Enforcement Spokesperson

Warning residents that the blade was “super deadly” and “badass,” city police officials held a press conference Wednesday to announce that they had found a really cool wooden-handled Buck-brand pocketknife on the street.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Del Toro To Direct Disney's 'Haunted Mansion'

Guillermo del Toro, director of Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy, announced that his next project would be directing The Haunted Mansion, a film based on the Disney World ride. What do you think?

  • "This is a step up for him. The Hobbit isn't even a ride."

    Larry Bench Systems Analyst
  • "Wow, I didn't realize the list of jobs Americans won't do extended all the way into big-budget film adaptations of theme park attractions."

    Karen Marko Unemployed
  • "I wonder if Disney would be interested in my horror screenplay about a shipload of children who float into a land of diverse ethnicities, but after a short time the children realize that under their colorful costumes all the people look exactly alike and sing the same song constantly?"

    Albert Raxton Writer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close