Del Toro To Direct Disney's 'Haunted Mansion'

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Vol 46 Issue 30

Several NBA Teams Interested In Shaq As A Person

NEW YORK—Officials from the Hawks, Celtics, and Heat expressed interest in Shaquille O'Neal as a person Wednesday, confirming league rumors that they believed the free agent center would be highly suitable for a long-term friendship.

New Robot Capable Of Unhealthily Repressing Emotion

PITTSBURGH—Announcing a crucial breakthrough in the effort to create machines that accurately simulate human behavior, researchers at Carnegie Mellon University said Monday they had built the first robot with the capacity to suppress its emotions.
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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Del Toro To Direct Disney's 'Haunted Mansion'

Guillermo del Toro, director of Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy, announced that his next project would be directing The Haunted Mansion, a film based on the Disney World ride. What do you think?

  • "This is a step up for him. The Hobbit isn't even a ride."

    Larry Bench
    Systems Analyst
  • "Wow, I didn't realize the list of jobs Americans won't do extended all the way into big-budget film adaptations of theme park attractions."

    Karen Marko
    Unemployed
  • "I wonder if Disney would be interested in my horror screenplay about a shipload of children who float into a land of diverse ethnicities, but after a short time the children realize that under their colorful costumes all the people look exactly alike and sing the same song constantly?"

    Albert Raxton
    Writer
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