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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Delta Highest In Pet Deaths

According to documents filed with the Federal Aviation Administration, Delta Airlines accounted for 19 of the 35 flying-related pet deaths in 2011. What do you think?

  • "Delta should take the initiative and advertise how great their air filters are at removing so much of the dead pet smell."

    Maxwell Preston Pony Edger
  • "To Delta's credit, though, their employees are willing to go along with the made-up story you tell your kids about how the ol' boy was jettisoned over a beautiful farm upstate."

    Tina Black Wig Dresser
  • "And what’s worse, no set of noise-canceling headphones in the world can drown out the horrible sound of all that ghost barking."

    Guy Lukin Unemployed

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