Democratic Candidate Shoots Bill In New Ad

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Vol 46 Issue 41

NFL Considers Building Second Stadium

NEW YORK—NFL spokesman Greg Aiello announced Monday that, after years of deliberation, NFL team owners will vote on the proposed construction of a second football stadium in order to ease current difficulties with scheduling and overcrowding.

Brady Quinn Hasn't Heard That Name In Ages

DENVER—Upon overhearing visitors to the Broncos training facility inquire about third-string quarterback Brady Quinn, a young but grizzled Brady Quinn was seen to lean forward, raise his eyebrows, frown thoughtfully, and cast his eyes upward in appa...

Cyclist Friend Explains Necessity Of $35 Socks

MONESSEN, PA—Recreational cyclist Ethan Coseglia, 38, thoroughly explained the benefits of wearing $35 bike-riding socks to his friend Kevin Washburn Friday, saying that his specially designed socks are essential in optimizing his overall cycling performance.
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Democratic Candidate Shoots Bill In New Ad

In an apparent attempt to distance himself from the policies of President Obama, West Virginia Senate candidate Joe Manchin appears in his latest campaign ad shooting the cap-and-trade emissions bill with a rifle. What do you think?

  • "Just to be sure, maybe someone should ask Manchin if he actually knows how a bill becomes a law and what a metaphor is."

    Laura Brown
    Store Manager
  • "The ad would have been more effective if he hadn't missed the bill and then driven off in his Prius."

    Ivan Barry
    Patient Care Associate
  • "I love the idea of shooting things I don’t agree with. I’ll be right back."

    Rick Clowes
    Building Maintenance
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