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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Democratic National Convention Opens

The three-day Democratic National Convention kicks off today at the Time Warner Cable Arena in Charlotte, NC, with prime-time addresses from first lady Michelle Obama and San Antonio mayor Julián Castro, the event’s keynote speaker. What do you think?

  • “As a white voter, I’m not sure which prime-time speaker is supposed to appeal to me.”

    Faizon Arad Unemployed
  • “More politics? But we had politics last week.”

    Kate Paskowitz Mail-Order Clerk
  • “Wow. I can’t believe they got the mayor of one of America’s top 50 cities to speak.”

    Grant Safris Sound Effects Supervisor
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