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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Democrats In Control

For the first time in 14 years, the Democrats have control of the White House and both houses of Congress. What do you think?
  • "Those spend-happy Democrats are going to ruin this small-government, fiscally conservative utopia that Bush spent eight years crafting."

    Pete Rego Options Specialist
  • "I've purposely avoided upward mobility and social progress for 20 years so I can benefit from all the free money I'll be getting."

    Susan Gibson Program Assistant
  • "Hooray! Hopefully they will clean up our world image, make the environment okay, and perfect our public schools by February. Then we can get some real work done!"

    Richard Feyen Personal Banker

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Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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