adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Democrats In Disarray

Having lost control of the Senate and lacking a clear leader and message, the Democratic Party appears to be in disarray. What do you think?
  • "As a Democrat, I have high hopes in 2004 for Rep. Tom Lanford, a charismatic young centrist from Ohio with a clear vision for the party. Okay, I just made him up."

    Marjorie Stamp Nurse
  • "In this time of war, the Democrats have unselfishly recognized that America simply cannot afford to have two strong, competing parties."

    Al Fanseca Systems Analyst
  • "All the Democrats I've talked to know exactly what they stand for: not being Republicans."

    Rick Snell Carpenter
  • "The Democrats need to find a guy who can shoot lightning out of his fingertips. I'd vote for that guy."

    Donald Paul Tour Guide
  • "One solution to the Democrats' woes is to try to attract more fat, gray-haired white men with lots of sinister connections."

    Rachel Cone Freelance Writer
  • "It's not as bad as it could be. The Democrats could be desperate enough to run Walter Mondale agai–oh, shit."

    Mike Ansel Lawyer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close