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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Democrats To Call For Same-Sex Marriage

For the first time ever, Democrats appear set to include marriage equality as an official plank in their platform when they meet this September in Charlotte, NC for their national convention. What do you think?

  • “This is really going to hurt their standing with people who would never vote for a Democrat.”

    Vernon McIntyre Airbrush Painter
  • “A spoiler alert would have been nice. I like to wait until the conventions to find out what each party’s platform is.”

    Fred Nguyen Feed Grinder
  • “You can’t stop progress! Until November, that is.”

    Jan Krantz Water Meter Installer

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