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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Dems Leave Lieberman Unpunished

Despite his support of Sen. John McCain's presidential bid, the Democratic Caucus voted to let Sen. Joe Lieberman keep his position chairing the Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee. What do you think?
  • "Well, he didn’t go completely unpunished. He did agree to let every Democratic senator peg him in the back with a racquetball."

    Alexander Creighton Child Protection Services
  • "Obama just wanted to send the strongest possible message that he believes in reconciliation and bipartisanship, and he did so by reaching out to one of the most annoying, sanctimonious, uncharismatic, and contrary members of Congress."

    Lars Hoilland Solar Panel Installer
  • "Much like a fine yogurt, legislative bodies do better when you add some of the old, crusty culture that stuck to the last jar."

    Mala Hertz Hebrew Teacher

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