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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Dennis Rodman Returns To North Korea

Six months after he visited on a goodwill tour with the Harlem Globetrotters, former NBA star Dennis Rodman is back in North Korea to “just have a good time” with his “friend” Kim Jong-un, the isolated country’s 29-year-old leader. What do you think?

  • “Shouldn’t we be more focused on Syria? Assad could use a buddy, too.”

    Jeremy Yu Wire Bender
  • “I like their friendship. It reminds me of when a duck and a cat become pals.”

    Hank Jarvis Tapioca Processor
  • “Have fun, you two!”

    Ellen Lyon Embroiderer

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