Depression Accelerates Aging

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Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Depression Accelerates Aging

Lab tests have shown that the cells of people who have suffered from severe depression appeared biologically older than the cells of non-depressed individuals, suggesting that the mental affliction speeds up the aging process in our bodies. What do you think?

  • “I had no idea Kirk Douglas was so depressed.”

    Heather Delbert
    Metal Polisher
  • “It’s a good thing I avoid depression by going to the tanning booth and eating whatever I want.”

    Diego Zuber
    Naval Architect
  • “Just in case you were wondering, happiness won’t make you any younger.”

    Jeremy Ashwill
    Vehicle Painter