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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Depression Sufferers Smoke More

A new study reveals that 43 percent of adults who suffer from depression smoke, and that depressed people are less inclined to quit than other smokers. What do you think?

  • "Yeah, depressed people are so cool and sophisticated."

    Chance Ribot Unemployed
  • "Aggravating the problem is how readily nicotine binds to the brain's why-bother-even-getting-out-of-bed receptors."

    Danny Edson Social Worker
  • "Well, you know who's not going to move out on me because its skirt keeps getting stained with nicotine from sitting on the couch? This pack of Camels right here."

    Meredith Lurie Jack Setter
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