Detroit Files For Bankruptcy

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Vol 49 Issue 29

Royal Baby Born

LONDON—After months of anticipation, representatives for the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton confirmed today that the royal baby has finally made its way into the world.

Martha Sarahns

Martha Sarahns, 78, passed away Saturday night surrounded by her closest friends, family, and this random dude who looked completely lost.

Not-That-Important Employee Snatches Best Donut In Box

FORT WAYNE, IN—Employees at Sapphire Business Solutions expressed their collective outrage Friday at the brazen conduct of sales associate Isaac Schuler, a largely unimportant staffer who’s only been with the company for maybe a month and who ...

Perfectly Shitty Couch Sitting On Curb

The nation throws its hands up and tells black teens to be careful out there, J.K. Rowling is revealed to be the pseudonym of Newt Gingrich, and the FBI is offering $1 million for any information on cheetahs.
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Detroit Files For Bankruptcy

Detroit became the largest municipality in U.S. history to seek bankruptcy protection yesterday, which will likely force the city to slash government employment, sell assets, and further pare back municipal services. What do you think?

  • “Eh. Hospitals, schools, firemen, police, trash collection, and road maintenance are overrated.”

    Beau King
    Systems Analyst
  • “Maybe some kind of harebrained urban farming scheme will help.”

    Shaun Rosset
    Hairpiece Stylist
  • “Your move, Michael Moore.”

    Carey Pucci
    Marksmanship Instructor
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