DHS Cuts New York Defense

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Department Of Labor Study Confirms Your Job Most Demanding

‘None Of Your Friends Understand How Hard It Is,’ Report Reads

WASHINGTON—Noting that the level of mental strain associated with the profession was far and away the highest recorded, a federal study on workplace conditions and occupational stress released Thursday has confirmed that your job is the most demanding career in the entire nation, and that none of your friends or family fully understand how hard it is.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.
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DHS Cuts New York Defense

The City of New York is up in arms after its Homeland-Security budget was slashed nearly in half. What do you think?
  • "It's about time we shifted that money to protect cities like Omaha, where the world's largest ball of stamps sits completely unsecured."

    Mark Jameson
    Busboy
  • "I'm sick of New Yorkers bragging about all their fancy targets. Take one look at Mackinac Island's fudge-shop row and tell me that wouldn't give a terrorist a few ideas."

    Gina Baird
    Systems Analyst
  • "The news coincides perfectly with the release of my guidebook Protecting New York On $10 A Day."

    Ted Gillespie
    Admissions Agent