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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Diamond Dave Axed Again

David Lee Roth was fired from his spot as a replacement morning-radio personality for Howard Stern after less than three months. What do you think?
  • "I'm sorry this didn't work out, but I'm looking forward to when Ronnie James Dio takes over for Paul Harvey."

    Paul Washington Dishwasher Repair Man
  • "I'm glad to see him go. I used to call in three times a morning with a request for 'Brown-Eyed Girl.' Never once did he play it. Not once."

    Gina Freedman Transcription Services
  • "Apparently Roth exaggerated his ability to guess a woman's bra size on sight."

    Alex Frye Pest Control
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