adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
End Of Section
  • More News

Dick Cheney’s Daughters Feud Over Gay Marriage

Liz Cheney, who is running for a Senate seat in Wyoming, recently voiced her opposition to gay marriage, prompting her sister, Mary Cheney, who is married to her same-sex partner, to issue a response on Facebook stating that Liz is “on the wrong side of history.” What do you think?

  • “If the Cheney sisters switched spouses for a week, I think we’d all learn a little something about love.”

    Andrew Pastorelli Turbine Assembler
  • “You know how sisters are. One second they’re embroiled in a politically charged skirmish before the eyes of a nation, the next they’re braiding each other’s hair.”

    Pavel Woods Lettuce Trimmer
  • “They should be talking about real issues that affect Wyoming, like fish and game.”

    Claudia Vaughn Systems Analyst

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close