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Dick Cheney’s Daughters Feud Over Gay Marriage

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Dick Cheney’s Daughters Feud Over Gay Marriage

Liz Cheney, who is running for a Senate seat in Wyoming, recently voiced her opposition to gay marriage, prompting her sister, Mary Cheney, who is married to her same-sex partner, to issue a response on Facebook stating that Liz is “on the wrong side of history.” What do you think?

  • “If the Cheney sisters switched spouses for a week, I think we’d all learn a little something about love.”

    Andrew Pastorelli Turbine Assembler
  • “You know how sisters are. One second they’re embroiled in a politically charged skirmish before the eyes of a nation, the next they’re braiding each other’s hair.”

    Pavel Woods Lettuce Trimmer
  • “They should be talking about real issues that affect Wyoming, like fish and game.”

    Claudia Vaughn Systems Analyst

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