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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Dieting Doesn't Work

According to a comprehensive review of 31 long-term studies, scientists at the University of California say that dieting does not result in permanent weight loss. What do you think?
  • "As the owner of a sweat pants warehouse, this couldn't be better news."

    Marc LeSage Systems Analyst
  • "That's okay with me since I only diet to lose weight for specific occasions like special events, vacations, or when I want my ex- boyfriends to regret dumping me."

    Becca Potter Mail Sorter
  • "When will Americans learn that dieting is not enough and must be combined with a healthy regimen of amphetamines to ensure weight loss."

    Neil Gaines Armored Car Driver

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