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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Disney Bans Junk Food Ads

The Walt Disney Co. announced it would no longer run advertisements during children’s programs for foods it considers unhealthy. What do you think?

  • “I don't like the idea of the corporation that's raising my kid telling me how to raise my kid.”

    Orianna Gordon Unemployed
  • “It’s in their best interest to keep Disney fans thin to save on repairing amusement park rides.”

    LeVonn Berryman Third Helper
  • “Now we just need to get Hannah Montana to stop smoking Pall Malls.”

    Ben Whitworth Motor Polarizer

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