adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
End Of Section
  • More News

Disney Buys Lucasfilm For $4 Billion

The Walt Disney Co. purchased Lucasfilm Ltd., the production company of George Lucas, for $4.05 billion in cash and stock Tuesday, announcing it would release a seventh installment in the Star Wars franchise in 2015. What do you think?

  • “Man, Disney doesn’t care about the Star Wars franchise. They only care about making money.”

    Lynda Pethig Fruit Cutter
  • “I’m looking forward to all the attractive, multiethnic teen Jedi Knights with names like Obi-Juan and Liu Skywalker.”

    Roy Skynner Canvas Worker
  • “It was big of Lucas to also entrust the iconic American Graffiti franchise to another generation of filmmakers.”

    Alfie Bigg Oral Surgeon

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close