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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Disney Sells Princess Leia Merchandise After Twitter Protest

After a group of parents used the Twitter hashtag #WeWantLeia to protest the fact that the Disney Store currently has no Star Wars toys for girls, Disney has announced that it will roll out “several” new items featuring Princess Leia. What do you think?

  • “I hope they have plenty of items from when Leia was a sex slave in a metal bikini who couldn’t talk. That’s my daughter’s favorite!”

    Florence Fogel Audiologist
  • “I always thought IG-88 was the Star Wars toy for girls.”

    Alex Schloop Insulation Worker
  • “So there’s hope for my #WeWantNienNunb hashtag after all!”

    Rick Perrodin Unemployed
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