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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Disney To Debut New Mickey Mouse Cartoons

A new series of 19 animated shorts featuring 85-year-old Disney icon Mickey Mouse, which will be set in modern-day versions of New York, Paris, Beijing, and other locales, is slated to premiere on the Disney Channel in late June. What do you think?

  • “That’s uncanny. Just the other day I was thinking, ‘I wish that everything created prior to 10 years ago had a more modern sensibility.’”

    Tessa Mitchell Kick Press Operator
  • “About time. All I hear from my kids is, ‘We want Mickey Mouse! We want Little Lulu! We want Sluggo and Nancy!’”

    Paul Featherstone Dental Ceramist
  • “Oh, I can’t wait to see what Mickey’s been up to! I’m hoping a ton of mild adventures and a fair share of harmless hijinks.”

    Albert Lobb Prospecting Driller

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