Disney World Visitors Contract Mystery Illness

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Disney World Visitors Contract Mystery Illness

Since June, several dozen visitors to Walt Disney World’s Wild Africa Trek in Florida have been sickened by an unknown illness that causes flu-like symptoms, including nausea, fatigue, and diarrhea. What do you think?

  • “Flu-like? If I’m paying for a true African experience I better be getting some malaria-like or sickle-cell-type symptoms.”

    Scott Dube
  • “That’s why I never let my kids stray beyond the sanitary confines of Epcot’s Norway Pavilion.”

    Gordon Julow
    Dehydrating-Press Operator
  • “Uh-oh. They didn’t accidentally touch Goofy, did they?”

    Ralph Borja
    Harbor Master