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Doctor Creates Feces Pills To Treat Illness

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Doctor Creates Feces Pills To Treat Illness

A Canadian doctor has treated 27 patients suffering from Clostridium difficile infections by giving them each between 24 and 30 handmade pills containing stool from one of their healthy relatives, curing each patient of their illness. What do you think?

  • “I don’t need the capsule. Just give me the feces.”

    Manuel White Technical Writer
  • “I could see eating 20, maybe 22 feces-filled pills. But 24? Gross.”

    Dana Masterson Systems Analyst
  • “Did Jerry put you up to this? Because he’s been trying to trick me into eating his shit for months.”

    Lyndell Thirlwell Drying Oven Tender

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